=====News===== ====Odin Rendered Mortal and Helpless==== The party kindly thrown by Aethelfled for Baldur the Beloved turned to horror and tragedy when it was revealed Baldur, Odin's favourite child and the true heir to Asgard, has returned married to the queen of Hel. Baldur slew his defenceless brother Hodr in front of the guests, who were prevented from interfering by the private army of Hel herself. Worst of all, Odin's attempts to defend and reach his errant son led to his defeat at the hands of Hel, who has taken his immortality with her magics and left the Allfather mortal and with only ten years left at most of life left within his soul. Hel and Baldur have taken over Odin's Hall and proclaimed themselves the new rulers of Asgard. Hel has announced a new age when gods, men and the dead shall live together. In completely unrelated news, there are rumours going around that a strike team of Hellish forces turned up at Aetta's door last night... ====Fighting in Vanaheim==== Scenes of panic have erupted in a Vanir city as half the inhabitants succumbed to a fatal outbreak of poisoned water, thought to have originated in pipes near the recycling plant. Only the direct intervention of Kurteisliga himself has saved the rest of the population; Il Princep himself came in person to the scene of the outbreak, risking his own life to save his people and organising the Vanaheim Defence Force to fight when the dead rose, their bodies possessed by a Hellish army. Rumours abound that someone was seen bringing mysterious barrels into the city one night, and the guards claim they were bribed with mead by someone who looked a lot like Skjoll. ====The State of Denmark==== Disaster hit Copenhagen this week as fighting in the city ended with serious structural damage being dealt to the protective Cavenson Dome. Reports from the city claim that some sort of giant bird burst out of the royal palace and started blasting the dome with lasers. The bird was then attacked by a cackling madman riding a robot horse. A dragon is reported to have been sitting on top of the dome watching with interest. Doctors are currently investigating whether some sort of hallucinogen might have been released into the city's air supplies. ====Crosshair Solutions==== "Crosshair Solutions Ltd. - Military Consultancy and Contractor Specialists in Security, Reconnaisance and Strategic Deployment. Dragons slain, Beasts hunted, Secrets unearthed and Obstacles eliminated. Contact Yuri 'Lelantos' Veselovsky for details" ====Hellish Forces Destroyed in Jotunheim==== A large army of Hellish forces attempted to interrupt peace talks on the Jotunheim/Vanaheim border. Fortunately allied forces had heavily prepared the ground and the enemy army was annihilated by Aesir and UNITED troops. Several of Hel's generals were defeated by our valiant warriors during the battle, and currently we believe that Dagrun, Inga and Byleistr have all been permanently destroyed. Questions are now being asked about why there was a dome full of Hellish warriors in Vanaheim. ====Tragic Death of Prince Andreas of Denmark==== We are devastated to report that Prince Andreas died on the battlefield, after heroically taking on all the forces of Midgard, Asgard, and Hel, all of whom seemed to want him dead. He died of his wounds despite the care of his very dear friends. ==== Peace in Jotunheim ==== The talks headed by Interim Head of Diplomacy Dr. Dubois and the policing of the Demilitarised Zone between Jotunheim and Vanaheim have proved to be a complete success. The progressive and traditionalist sides have come together on a new pact which returns the dichotomy between Military and Civilians, but establishes more connections between the two. General Medjar has returned to heading the military, renouncing influence in the city, and Tanngnidr has been established as the head of a taskforce set up to facilitate discussion between the two sides. On the Vanaheim front, an army lead by Dagrun the Decaying and Byleistr of Hel was thoroughly quashed by allied defence forces. Both generals and their armies were seen to be killed. ==== A New God Among the Aesir ==== Though the Orchards that held the apples giving Asgardian gods their immortality had been destroyed during Ragnarok, they are being tended to once again. Many seeds had been saved and even now the orchard blooms anew with apple trees getting taller every day. Some say that Eydis and Aetta have worked tirelessly to plan and grow the trees in memory of orchards. Not long ago now, however, a new gardener has turned up to care for the orchards. Calling himself Akrskald, the asa is a stooped, hunched figure with a friendly face and burns across his scalp. Those who look closely may recognise a striking resemblance to Thor though the latter has not been seen in many days now. When asked Akrskald claims that Thor has finally died, but he hopes that you might sit and listen to a few tales of heroics from the time of Ragnarok... ==== Dr. Thorpe Apprehended by Asgardians ==== Dr. Thorpe was seen recently escorted by a number of Asgardians, guarding him closely. When asked, the reason given for seizing the military technology expert is given as offence and crimes against Asgard and the Allfather. Dr. Thorpe has currently been escorted to the Asgard-Midgard meeting pending a court of Asgardian or UNITED justice. ====Corporate Shenanigans==== Government officials in the ERU, PAC and North America have strenuously objected to recent efforts by corporate interests to gain undue influence over the Dome cities of Earth. Spokesmen from Midgard Enterprises have rigorously denied any wrongdoing whilst Lucky River mogul Mikel Vaughan has been publicly critical of counterpart Anthony Raffles' inconsiderate corporate practices. Raffles himself was unavailable for comment at the time of going to press, overseeing the opening of a number of orphanages and care homes for those left bereft by the recent global calamity. Fortune 15 fiscal analysts X-Trend have yet to weigh in on whether any malfeasance has occurred, but they are understood to be mobilising their own considerable assets. Speculators anticipate that a cooperative merger with Personnel firm RiteOne may be in the offing. ==== UNITED Antarctic Facility ==== UNITED seems to have recently built a large R&D complex in Antarctica, many have enquired as to its purpose but the response from UNITED is merely research, and they have let it be known that it is off limits to the public. There are rumours as to what they are doing however, making a new weapon, a god bomb, a new power source, a rocket ship. All these and more and less plausible ideas are suggested, however for now it is unknown. ==== Skadi Hunted Down ==== The Jotunn known as Skadi, who previously hunted down and killed poisoners in Asgard, has been cut down by a party of Gods and Humans. Her association with Skoll and Hati had put her on the opposite sides of Ragnarok which ended with her unfortunate death. Following these events there have been calls in Asgard for a new punishment to be set down for those who commit the heinous crime of poisoning. ==== New Valhalla? ==== The valkyries of Asgard are flocking to the new world mountain, taking the dangerous journey through the lower worlds with the aid of Ibexen, the new world’s Ratatoskr. It is said they are journeying to a new Valhalla, far greater than that in Asgard, and will shepherd the souls of the glorious dead there, out of the reach of Helheim. In the grandest of the halls on this new world it is said there is a great carving of Kara and Steinnas striking death blows at one another, the act which marked the birth of this world. ==== Alfheim Succession Contested ==== Warrants for the arrest of the elf Brynjolf have been issued by the Elven Palace following accusation of his involvement in the murder of Queen Nassé. Brynolf, a popular candidate for the throne, has since fled Alfheim, leaving the throne still empty. New candidates for the throne have been whittled down, with Astrid Sykes and Nerwen Galathil the prime candidates, but with the Alfheim Constitution in crisis over the disappearance of Astrid for over a millenium it appears that resolution is still a long time coming. ==== Dr Abominable Executed ==== Through the efforts of Asgardian God Sannast, the wanted interterrestrial terrorist Dr Damian Maxwell known as "Dr Abominable" has been brought to justice. Despite taking refuge in Vanaheim, justice was dispensed nonetheless and his head brought back and raised high as a sign of triumph. The diplomatic repercussions of Sannast's incursion into Vanaheim, however, are yet to fully unfold as many of the VVDF lie dead at Sannast's hands having held fast to protect Dr Maxwell - something Princep Kurteisliga is said to be "furious" about. ==== Hall of the Dead Repairs Completed ==== We are pleased to announce that the repairs of the Hall of the Dead are now complete, and full functionality has been restored. Special thanks go to Prometheus of UNITED for his assistance in this. Efforts are now underway to rebuild the rest of the city, and to prevent any such distaster from occuring again. - Fili of the Sons of Svanir ====Rumours==== * There have been strange movements of tankers recently. * The Allfather is... not in excellent health. * Barney Lamb is the brains behind the entire operation and is in complete control of Doctor Abominable. * Kurteisliga has a very well-trained owl. * Skjoll was seen rolling barrels across the Plain of Vigard. * Balthazar 'Themis' Dubois is dating Ilmari. * Eydis has finally succumbed to typical Lokispawn behaviour and is chatting to bees. Poor thing. * Kurteisliga speaks eight different languages - at least. * Skjoll is secretly married to Modgud. * Humanity may be first, but the Dead will have the Last Laugh. * Asgardian blood is thicker than mead.