Lucky River Presents…

Mikel Vaughn appears on screen

“It can be hard being a god in the fast-paced world of the Twenty First century. Nobody seems to worship you anymore, hell nobody seems to listen at all. Well here on the Asgardian Expression Forum we listen. We want to know what's troubling the people of Asgard, whether its little niggle, or cause for a genocidal rage; the people of Earth need to know, or how can we help?”

“Saturdays, 7 through 8pm, I'll be hearing your problems and so will anyone who tunes in. Happy with everything? That's great! Join me on the interview couch and we can let people know the real you.”

“So make sure you don't miss the Asgardian Expression Forum, because if there's a problem it's better to hear it here, than straight from Hurricane Olrik!”

The commercial ends and is followed by an advert for Jagermeister featuring a grinning 50ft tall Jaeger.

A DARING EXPEDITION to the OCEANS OF ALASKA has produced JORMUNGANDR VENOM to CURE THOR!!!!! The International News would like to congratulate our PLUCKY HEROES for their BRAVERY AND DARING!!!! We hear his WIFE is “DELIGHTED”!!!

The International News publish a small disclaimer five days later underneath the cricket results when it appears Sif is not as delighted as they reported. Rumour has it that curing Thor needs a little more than just the antidote.

The Government of the Oceanic Alliance is in utter chaos following the assassination of Prime Minister Henry Watson and the detainment by U.N.I.T.E.D of his chief advisor, Jack Foster, following allegations that he is the Norse God Loki. News networks across the globe had representatives present at a press conference called by Foster when Gideon McQueen and the god Niusi came striding in, attacked and literally wrapped Foster in chains. Niusi - who many are now claiming to be Loki himself - proceeded to help McQueen remove Foster from the OA government building and take him to U.N.I.T.E.D headquarters. Neither were available for comment.

Merely days after this event, Prime Minister Henry Watson was found dead at his desk and heavy concentrations of poison found in his drink. The loss of their leader and his second in command has thrown the Oceanic Alliance into utter chaos with no clear candidate for a new leader in sight. Foster continues to proclaim his innocence.

Breaking News - UWN Reports! (widely seen and summarised for Asgardians)

Astonishing scenes on Midgard - all captured on video!

It seems that things didn't go quite as planned when Winterlight challenged Thor to test one of their prototypes. The event was televised, live from the island of ‘Alstormhyrr’, newly risen from the sea and site of a volcano.

Tensions were high as everything was set up and adjudication arranged by Mr Ark and Sandraudr of Asgard.

Although the match started with an exciting contest

Cut to video of Thor, enlarged and in full battle mode duking it out with a jet-black plane-mecha piloted by Col. Demotte

Trading blows and jockeying for position, the two contestants were ready for a TITANic confrontation!

Camera focuses on Mjollnir, then on Titan's weapons

It seems that Thor had the upper hand as he was able to chip away at the Titan's armour and get into position to attack from behind! But a mysterious force was acting behind the scenes. As the Norse God's legendary hammer, Mjollnir (Press Red for the low-down on Aesir artefacts of myth!), was about to strike, the Titan seemed to be able to turn with supernatural speed so that the blow landed to the front.

Complex technologies were clearly at work as the Titan was able to deploy all its weaponry at once knocking Thor clean out!

Before cries of fairness could be raised, it seems the Norse Gods were already confronting an age-old nemesis.

Cut to a grainy shot focusing on the beach on some figure reclining with a cocktail in hand as Sandraudr, Aethelfled and Sigyn approach at full speed.

This figure, believed to be the Trickster God 'Loki' was involved without authorization.

Before the man could be apprehended, it seems that the Volcano erupted, letting the alleged perpetrator of mischief get away! Thankfully Thor was rescued by the Titan machine and is making a recovery with the help of the Winterlight Corporation. The contest itself has unfortunately proved inconclusive…

End Card reads - Our thoughts go out to the brave camera crew and attendants who were not able to make it off the volcanic island during the eruption.

Was this truly the face of Loki?

Pixelated shot of a young-looking, casually dressed individual sipping a cocktail on a recliner

Did we gaze upon the face of the Trickster minutes after he threatened Thor's life and escaped from under a volcano?

The search for Loki is hot in the media and numerous networks are running their own documentaries, speculations, alleged reconstructions. An extract from a UWN report:

Many have speculated as to Loki's identity, but if Thor, Freyja and other Norse Gods really do exist, then surely Loki, or a being on which he is based must be roaming the world. The revelation of the Norse Gods came almost a year ago in what was allegedly a hunt for Loki as according to myth and legend he was chained by Odin and the other 'Aesir' here on Earth. Although many have speculated that the individual allegedly called 'Nuisi' was indeed Loki, there have been frequent reports of him all over the place. North America, ERU, Oceanic Alliance, PAC, have all supposedly played host to one of the guises of Loki. But reports now come thick and fast and the latest sighting, during a battle between a Winterlight battle prototype 'Titan' and Thor himself is the best lead we have for a glimpse of the Trickster…

Many, many, similar segments are aired weekly worldwide.

Word spreads through Asgard and UNITED that the dwarves have chosen to keep the path to Svartalfheim open thanks to the efforts of many diplomats from Asgard and Midgard alike. The gods are also pleased to find that a new path has been opened on the Bifrost, saving them a long trip up into the mountains.

Despite this good news, word also comes through of a spate of thefts and worse of the dragon Fafnir being released upon the city. These events have cast a slight pall over relations and dwarven traders have been keeping a wary watch on any Aesir examining their wares.

Early indication were that war would continue in Vanaheim, as the jotun forces besieged in Hygrad broke out from behind their defenses, only to be crushed by the might of Thor and Jaeger.

However word arrived shortly thereafter of a truce forged by the Vanir and sealed in the very heart of jotunheim.

An uneasy peace now prevails in the realms of god and jotun, bound by the marriage of Harald Koprsson to the jotun warchief Medjar. Whether this can last is a subject for much discussion in the halls of Asgard, where there is little doubt that the jotun will likely show their true colours come Ragnarok.

The Joint diplomatic efforts between the Gods and united seem to have paid off as the PAC and ERU have stepped back from the brink. Even the Warmongering Maria Basiste seems to have stepped back from her talk of unification.

The PAC are not entirely happy though and rumour has it they have made some time sensitive demands in order to ensure that the peace is kept. So all it looking Rosy, that is of course if you ignore the OA which may as well be part of Antarctica now and without and form of legitimate leadership has now fallen into chaos. It's quickly developing into a Humanitarian and Military crisis of almost unprecedented proportions to have a nuclear power in such turmoil and chaos.

We are delighted to report that Prince Andreas Christensen of Denmark will marry Aetta, goddess of love and friendship, at some point over the next six months. The ceremony is expected to be lavish and it is expected that celebrities from Asgard and Earth will attend. RSVPs are being sent to Gertrude, Queen of Denmark, who is said to be organising and masterminding the entire affair. The Prince made a brief statement to the press to say he hoped his mother would be happy. Aetta has yet to comment.

Posted on notice boards all over UNITED

• Surt rides forth with a blazing sword leading a host from Muspellheim. We cannot change this. But we should find out whatever we can about the size of the host, their capabilities and their weaponry.
• Sinmara follows in his wake with the army of Niflheim, freezing the ground and ensuring nothing will grow back. We cannot change this. But we should find out whatever we can about the size of the host, their capabilities and their weaponry. We know even less of Sinmara than we know of Surtr.
• The children of Fenrir, the wolves Skoll and Hati, swallow the sun and the moon. Can they be persuaded to bring them back up again? Do we need to create new suns and moons? Does anyone know where they are? Can we cut them open and retrieve the sun and moon?
• Loki and his brother Byleistr lead the armies of Helheim into battle as they arrive on the ship Naglfar. What is known about the size of Naglfar? How many people does it hold. Where will it arrive and how? Is anything known about the armies of Helheim?
• Tyr faces Sinmara and she is cut down by the giantess, to be swallowed by the helhound Garm. This does not specify that Tyr must die. Can we negotiate with Garm that she will be swallowed whole and retrieved or regurgitated? ‘Cut down’ could mean many things. We need to speak with Sinmara.
• Thor kills Jormungand, then dies from the World Serpent's poison. This does not specify when my husband will die. There is a suggestion that we will keep him alive by constantly feeding him the antidote in his mead. I have also realised that Jormungandr has no choice in his fate and can also be regarded as an innocent victim of Ragnarok, doomed to be hated for a prophecy he cannot negate. Should we be treating him with sympathy and concern?
• Loki and Heimdall kill each other. Would Hel be prepared to return Heimdall to us? What will she do about her father Loki?
• The valkyrie Kára and Thrud chase down and fight Skoll and Hati. If we can get all four on board, this need not be acrimonious. Frequently Thor and Jaeger will chase down and fight each other over the last chicken leg.
• Fenrir swallows Odin. Can we kill Fenrir and rip Odin from his stomach? Can he be persuaded to regurgitate him?
• Vidar rips open Fenrir's jaws. This would be a good time to retrieve Odin, when Fenrir is injured and helpless.
• Freyja leads the dead of Folkvangr and routs the army of Muspellheim. Well done Freyja.
• Hermod will be slain by Hel. Presumably while rescuing Baldur. I doubt she’ll be prepared to enter into negotiations over someone she has killed. Does anyone know how to talk with Hel?
• Baldur returns from Helheim to reconcile with his brother Hodr. It will be wonderful to see Baldur again.
• Surt kills Freyja and Freyr. Can we persuade Hel to return them from her world to ours? She was willing to negotiate over Baldur.
• Surt's fires burn the nine worlds. Yes, but how much of each world burns?
• Frigg strives to defend Asgard from its enemies and dies upon her throne. Can the Valkyries bear her to Valhalla to take over Freyja’s fight?
• The leader of the Jotnar will be crushed to death as Jotunheim burns. Good.

Does anyone know of any more prophecies? Very little seems to be said of what will happen to Asgard and Vanaheim. How will Surtr's fires react with the flooded Midgard? Has the serpent Nidhoggr come to gnaw on the roots of Yggdrasil yet? (Hel might know.) Where is Hoddmimir's Holt? Who are Lif and her lover?

Please contact Sif if you have any information. If you can't find Sif, please contact Thor or Jarnsaxa.

• Dr Artemis is to marry Jarnsaxa
• Anarcharsis and Coeus have been spotted “cycling” together. Perhaps another wedding is in order. Someone call the Queen of Denmark!
• Olrik, God of Bad Decisions, has been acting strangely.
• Kopr has ambitions to spawn a dynasty that will rule over all nine realms. After all he is marrying his son to the new leader of the Jotun and seeks to establish himself as the leader of the Vanir.
• Prince Andreas is engaged to marry Jarnsaxa.
• Don't go on cruises round the PAC.
• Prince Andreas is engaged to marry Astrid.
• Things have gone missing from Svartalfheim. There will be an amnesty box at UNITED. Please place your misappropriated items in the box provided.
• Prince Andreas is engaged to marry Dr Julia Rosales.
• Vidar, I am your father.
• Loki is not Loki.