General News - Turn 5

Approx one month after the last session

An unprecedented global-effect earthquake shook the earth causing devastation on an unparalleled scale. Thanks to joint effort by UNITED members and Asgardians alike, the damage was minimised as much as possible, but the catastrophe still left hundreds of millions dead.

Manufacturing infrastructure remained mostly intact following the disaster and construction of Cavenson Domes over population centres have continued with increasing intensity as seismological experts predict a massive flooding event within the year.

From all around Midgard and Asgard tales are spreading of bizarre occurrences

An entire village in North America was found seemingly frozen in time with everything unmoving. Several investigators who later entered were also trapped.

Meanwhile in Vanaheim several Acres of farmland appeared to spontaneously combust leaving behind nothing but a field of fine ash.

Dark reports from the EuroRus talk of the unquiet dead entire graveyards are reported empty of their previous inhabitants. The plague stricken areas of Northern Europe in particular go completely dark.

In lighter news a man in South America claims that he was kidnapped by elves when walking in the woods one day. They were apparently very hostile and tried to shoot him with their little pointy bows.

Reports are coming in from all of the accessible worlds, telling of destruction on a major scale by a group of Gods and Humans calling themselves the 'World Crawl'. Parts of the port area of Mumbai are destroyed; the construction of Cavenson Domes in Vanaheim was put back by months; the initial trading post with Alfheim was left in ruins; the reports continue similarly. The only place to escape destruction was the Hall of the Dead in Svartalfheim, which was protected from any damage by valient Dwarf peace forces.

Calls are now coming in for the Gods and UNITED to pay reparations for the damage they have caused. Since the event, traffic to and from Asgard has been locked down; there are rumours stating that UNITED will be bringing in increasingly strong sanctions on the Gods' freedom of travel following this event.

It is now estimated that the majority of Earth's population have access to a Cavenson Dome under various government, corporate and private citizen schemes of construction. Massive efforts have been made in the last six months and the year and a half before to erect a large number of the Domes.

Sadly the main reason that such a large part of the population have access is because of the loss of life on an unprecedented scale. Before the Long Winter UN statistic suggested a world population of approximately 9 billion. Following the freeze, famine, earthquakes, war and violence, this has dwindled significantly.

Estimates suggest that the death toll may have been worse without co-ordinated work by UNITED and the invaluable generosity of the Asgardians.

It appears that the shattering of all bonds which was prophesied has come to pass. Recently a massive quake shook all the worlds simultaneously and leaving chaos in it's aftermath.

Every prisoner on every world has been freed and several towns and domed cities have now come under the de facto control of violent gangs.

There are rumours of mass breakouts in Svartalfheim and Alfheim as well.

Perhaps more worryingly for Asgard the triumphant howling of wolves has been heard in the night.

Still several prominent scientists breathed a sigh of relief that at least the chemical bonds making up their very bodies appeared to be fine so rather a good result all around.

In recent weeks Robert Sykes has been appearing on numerous talk shows. Explaining how the Aesir are often badmouthed and misunderstood by people who refuse to acknowledge the valuable works they've performed for the people of Earth. Sykes raises Eydis as an example of Aesir generosity, pointing out the many good works the fire goddess has done, both in feeding the starving and controlling fires triggered by the recent disasters. Soon a large number of people are convinced of her benevolence, and more generally the previous smear campaigns against the Aesir have lost support.

Apparently a public appeal to find Eydis' descendants was also a success but no one is sure quite who they are yet as the details are being kept confidential by UNITED.

Greetings to all who attend the meetings on Asgard

I will see you at the next meeting.

I need to discuss with you the following:

In return for the destruction of the Hall of the Dead in Svartalfheim, I will return to you two of those destined to die at Ragnarok. Those who are predestined to die are: Queen Frigg; Tyr; Thor; Sif; Jormungandr; Solfrid; Heimdall; Daddy; Freyja; Freyr and Idun.

In return for successful negotiations over land to be acquired by the Twelve Armies of Hel, I will return one or two more, depending on the amount of land.

I have concerns over the whereabouts of Ilmari Myrkr and Inga Dagmarsdottir. Any information would be gratefully received.

See you soon

Thanks to the efforts of UNITED and Asgardian diplomats, Alfheim has reluctantly opened a trading post between Asgard and Alfheim in the forest connecting the two of them. This place, known as Alfkongr, is the mark of the beginning of reparations to a very damaged relationship with the Elves of Alfheim. An inn and a small market can be found, and all residents of the Nine Worlds are welcome to visit this small post on the borders of a wonderful world.

The prizegiving for the dwarven craftsman’s competition is broadcast all over Midgard, and shown on great screens in the other realms. It takes place in the throne room of the Dwarf king, but the camera seems to avoid the throne itself.

High King Hanarr rises to speak.

“Friends, contenders from all the civilised worlds, today I have the pleasure of announcing the results of the 250th Sons of Svanir Craftsman’s competition. This year, for the first time, we have a great many contestants from other worlds, and it is clear that their ingenuity in construction without enchantment has put us dwarves to shame. It gives me hope to see their advancements, and I beleive that together we can weather the oncoming storm of Ragnarok.

“Still, without further ado, it is time to present the results!

“Starting at the lowest of those receiving prizes, but still beating many dozens of competitors from 5 realms, in 12th place, for her gallery of the realms, Hadrir of Vanaheim, who wins a magical washing do-er.”

A tall vanir steps up to receive his prize, wheeling it to the back of the hall on a cart.

“Next, in 11th place, for his splendid reconstruction of Flindr’s Hall, perfect to the last detail, but not quite enough to place higher, Harald of Vanaheim, who wins the cuddly toy!”

A cheer goes up from the audience as Harald steps forward to claim his prize, making the oh-so-adorable cuddly Thor doll fly across the room on a current of air as he retakes his seat.

“In tenth place, bringing a touch of Asgardian spirit to the caverns of Svartalfheim, Aethelfled of Asgard, who wins the MIdgardian Furturebox”

She steps up to claim her prize, take a bow, and returns to her seat eagerly shaking the Magic 8 Ball to see what it does.

“In ninth place, with his great glass sculpture which we’re sure is much more profound than it looks, Dr Tony Artemis of Midgard, who wins the flying fuzzwidget”

Dr Artemis steps up to receive his prize, and he’s handed a leash, the other end of which is something so cute and fluffy it can hardly be described, which flitters and flaps adorably around his head before perching on his shoulder like an excessively wuzzy parrot. He walks back to his seat, scowling and mumbling that the dwarves can’t appreciate real art as the fuzzwidget chirrups contentedly.

“Coming up in Eighth place, for his monument to strength, Brunjar of Jotunheim, who wins the Point-You-Home”

The Jotun steps onto the stage, making the hall tremble, and takes the small compass from the High King.

“In Seventh, for their tavern of Sailor’s Rest, with inbuilt rollercoaster and waterslide, Reysa and Olrik of Asgard, who win the stay-clean fireproof cloak!”

Reysa and Olrik step up to take the prize, holding the shimmering fabric between them as they walk together back to their seats.

“In Sixth, for their superb building of a Cavenson dome, but unfortunately beaten by the real thing, John Morgan and Tracy McBeal of Midgard, who win a ring of water walking”

The two humans step up to the stage, and Tracy gasps as John takes the ring and gets down on one knee. They skip happily hand in hand back to their seats atop the waters of the pond in the middle of the room.

“Entering the final 5, Eric of Asgard wins the Everfull Mead Barrel for his knitted village!”

Eric takes the barrel, and walks down the hall, filling everyone’s tankards as he passes.

“In joint third place, too close to call, for her self sustaining eco-house, Grace McQueen, who wins the Jetboots, and for her Cavenson dome, a full sized one of which is even now being completed above our heads, Dr Sophia Cavenson, who wins the water-airifier”

They step up to the stage, shake hands, and each leave with their prizes. The audience shouts for Grace to try the Jetboots right now, but she declines.

“And now we come to those lucky two who will learn the ways of enchantment. In second place, for his fabulously constructed village-in-a-box, Kili of Svartalfheim, and, the winner of our grand prize, Dr Phillipe “Prometheus” Normand of Midgard, for showing us that human arts and sciences are far more advanced than we ever imagined with his great concert hall!”

The two winners take the stage to thunderous applause, and are escorted off to one side by Vildalfr.

LØRDAG NIGHT LIVE is brought to you by the masterful Mikel Vaughan and Ølriiiiik!

Tonight we’ve got a great show for you with a number of star guests joining us on the couch to talk about their mighty deeds, their deep held hopes and their terrifying fears.

Video shows a quick cut montage of past star guests including Aetta, Kopr, Harald, Finnfrodr, Jaeger, Eric, Reysa, Baeglir and Aethelfeld

And of course that’s not all. As ever we are joined by our regular special guests

Solfrid and Bjorn present How to Host an Asgard Party! - this week we’re looking at just how long you should let a guest stay in your hall, and why it’s important not to stay beyond your welcome. Want to know when it’s time to curse your in-laws? Stay tuned!

Next up is Asgard Cookery presented by super-chef, Völunðr. Tonight we’re cooking genuine Jotunheim owlbear and explaining how this very recipe can also work using concentrated Dome algae, some simple spices and a number of ales available at your local hyper-mart.

Wrapping up we have Asgard Science! with Sandrauðr in a very special section we’ll be seeing children from the St Barnabas Elementary and Mandela Memorial School compete in an classic stone hurling wager. It doesn’t get more Scientriffic than this!

As ever things are likely to get heated on the interview coach-

Cut to Mikel and Ølrik bellowing straight into each others’ faces whilst producers struggle to pull them apart

-So don’t miss out on another fantastic episode of LØRDAG NIGHT LIVE!!!!

Prominent meteorologists, seismologists and oceanologists have detected increased signs of activity from the vicinity of Jormungandr head at a much faster timetable than was previously expected. Large proportions of the world are already suffering coastal flooding and based on current data it is expected that the motions of the great Serpent's awakening will have their full effect within the week, plunging all but the highest points on Earth beneath the waves.

Mass panic has inevitably broken out as many domes will not finish construction before the new deadline, and millions have joined massive street gatherings calling out to the gods to take them away to the safety of another world.

Recently a site has been put on line growing in popularity purporting to show the number of deaths caused by the Aesir since their awakening. Although it's accuracy or origin are unknown (and indeed implausible) it is gaining some popularity, particularly amongst the Humanity First movement.

http://aesirbodycount.com/

With Freyja calling for a great War Council a number of tents and structures have been erected outside of the Midgardian ITP portal. This remains in the space that Kvasir has identified as limiting the gods' powers. Representatives from Vanaheim, Jotunheim and Svartaflheim have all brought large entourages expecting to remain at Council over the next few days.

The opening of the Council is soon at hand.